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Swinging Dick by Jacob Thurston


Cindy Tonkin - May 15, 2026

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He swings from the mast, he swings from the sails
He swings from the harpoons we fire at the whales
He swings through the rigging and gets it done quick
And that’s why we call him (2 claps) Swinging Dick

Richard was a sailor of quite some renown
He had a bad rap with the girls about town
But it’s not his fault how the stories all sound
‘Bout ropes and chains and how he gets around

He swings from the mast, he swings from the sails
He swings from the harpoons we fire at the whales
He swings through the rigging and gets it done quick
And that’s why we call him (2 claps) Swinging Dick

Richard was clumsy when he first joined the crew
He thought he could hide it but everyone knew
He fell off the crows nest and we thought he was screwed
But he grabbed to a rope and through topsails he flew

He swings from the mast, he swings from the sails
He swings from the harpoons we fire at the whales
He swings through the rigging and gets it done quick
And that’s why we call him (2 claps) Swinging Dick

When we first called him Dick, it was misconstrued
He looked quite upset and he thought it was rude
He didn’t want people to picture him nude
Turns out that Richard is kind of a prude

He swings from the mast, he swings from the sails
He swings from the harpoons we fire at the whales
He swings through the rigging and gets it done quick
And that’s why we call him (2 claps) Swinging Dick

Richard met a lady one round upon shore
He fell for her smile like he’d ne’er done before
He sheepishly told her what we named him for
And after that tale she walked right out the door

He swings from the mast, he swings from the sails
He swings from the harpoons we fire at the whales
He swings through the rigging and gets it done quick
And that’s why we call him (2 claps) Swinging Dick

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